me too!

I'm so in the dumps about not losing anything and I know that my mood spirals me into bad eating habits. And the more mileage I tack on for this stupid marathon, the hungrier I am and the more I want to eat. How is it possible that I run 35 miles a week, swim a mile twice a week and am STILL a fat cow?

Today's battle was discount-easter-candy vs. 35-laps-in-the-pool. It was a draw. I didn't leave my house to swim because of the lure of stopping at the grocery store (I have virtually no food in the house)and the bad decisions I'm in the mood to make. So I neither swam nor bought candy. I sit here typing away trying not to eat anything because that will turn into me eating everything. Which would be F'd up and look something like left-over chinese, b&b on wasa, turkey breast, cheese, and zucchini & rice. Instead I took a hot shower and gulp down sleepy time tea. I write this in hopes that getting it all out will help it go away so sorry for the rant, but I want to give up. I visited my parents yesterday and that depresses me because they are both very overweight and I see it as what I have ahead of me so why fight it? (I know that doesn't have to be true, but it's where I am right now.)

~sigh~