omfg.

I just read some of my old posts. omfg. 121? 123? anything in the 120s??????? wow. I am officially depressed.

salad salad salad salad salad salad salad salad salad

I'm trying to find ways to boost my appetite for salad - which I find boring beyond compare. Salas is also RIDICULOUSLY expensive! Really? 4 dollars for a package of salad that isn't iceberg lettuce and cabbage?

SO I've been buying greens and making my own - which often leads to ALOT of salad that I can never seem to eat fast enough before it goes bad because it is BORING.
I've added cilantro and other herbs, that helps, but seriously.....

suggestions?

cake

I baked a cake and then over the weekend proceeded to eat the whole thing.
And I wonder why I'm at 170.
The funny thing (not so funny) is that everything is "fine" nothing happened to send me into the sugary carbfest except that I was alone and bored and obsessing over the fact that there was cake in the house. Why did I bake it at 11 pm on a Friday night???? Because I'm crazy???

ugh

feeling better but not loss

I've kicked up my exercise this week and I feel better already. I don't expect the scale to change in one week, butI guess I have a lot of wishful thinking. Thanks to e-mails I've been more mindful of daytime consumption. I've gone three nights in a row with out snacking. FOr me that's quite a success.

170

run run jiggle jiggles

Two weeks ago I ran a 28 miler in 8:12 filled with climbing, running, and joy.

Last weekend I ran a personal best for a trail half marathon - 2:17 for 13.1 miles of hills and tree roots and rocks.

These two successes encouraged me to sign up for a full 50 k (31 miles)

Thursday I got stuck in the torrential downpour during a short 5 mile run. Something happened in my mind and it clicked into a low gear that I just can't seem to get myself out of it. Like I am stuck in a rut. On Sunday I was unable to find the park that at which the ultra was start. After much driving around I bailed. After much talking to myself I took a hike at French Creek State park. It wasn't the ultra but at least I was moving.

I feel my fat belly jiggle and it gets me so upset and demotivated that it is hard to get going. "what's the use?" is the refrain stuck in my head.

I need help kick starting my weight loss again. I know I can do it because I've done it before. How I can let myself regain the 15 pounds I had lost is beyond me, butI have to do it. I have to KEEP it off.

thanks for listening
xoxo TL